


Tell no Lies

by Mastre



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Character Death Fix, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki survives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-05-01 09:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14517291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mastre/pseuds/Mastre
Summary: As the Asgardian ship is destroyed, one of Thanos' victims may be more resilient than anyone would expect. And maybe someone is close enough to heed the distress call...





	1. The Survivor

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry to overwhelm you with my WIP's but this one feels very important right now.

There was debris floating in space, dead bodies, _parts_ of bodies. The chance of finding someone alive was shrinking by the second but she didn't want to give up. Not until she was absolutely sure. Adjusting the scanner, she piloted the ship through what was left of whatever vessel had sent the distress signal.

A light flickered on the screen, faint like a candle on the brink of burning out. She immediately turned towards it, getting ready to drop the ship's protective shield while getting the survivor onboard. It was a risk with all these chunks of metal floating around but she knew how to be quick about it. There was no time to lose.

First, she thought she'd been too late. There was no breathing to be detected, no movements or warmth. Yet, the medi-computer insisted on a slow heartbeat. "Hypothermia" it read.

Strange. It was cold in space but he couldn't have floated around that long.

The man's windpipe and larynx were badly damaged as if something had wrapped itself around his neck with a crushing force. There were also signs of him having been in a fight; torn clothes, cuts, and bruises.

"You fought well," she said softly, letting her fingers trail over the leather of his attire.

He remained still under her touch, black hair framing a face with high cheekbones and pale skin. Slender body, large hands.

"Can his injuries be healed?" she asked. The medi-computer gave her the answer: It was possible but to minimize oxygen deprivation he would need to stay in a hypothermic state till the healing was complete.

She would have to divert some energy to make that possible.

"It is not recommended." the main computer stated.

"I know, but it's only for a few hours. We lower the temperature overall and shut down all but the necessary systems. Lower the shields too. We're out of the danger zone now."

A flutter of wings caught her attention and a shimmering green and violet creature landed on her shoulder.

"It will be cold for a bit," she said. "You think we can manage that?"

The animal nipped at her ear.

"Yes, we can. You don't have to like it."

She lowered the top of the medi-capsule, locking the unconscious man in, and gave the instructions for surgery. The computer would do the rest.

* * *

"Any identification on our guest?" 

"Clothing indicates origin on Sakaar," the computer reported.

"Sakaar?" She frowned. "He's Sakaarian elite?" If so, she might get a reward for picking him up. That wouldn't hurt.

Not that Sakaar was a planet she particularly longed to visit...

"Anything else?"

"Humanoid, young male adult..."

"Yes, I can see that!"

"...some scarring on tissues indicates previous penetrative trauma through the chest and back, well healed."

So he had survived lethal injuries before. Interesting.

"Let me know when he's beginning to wake up. And take precautions, just in case."

There was always a risk with picking up strangers. A wounded stray could turn on you the moment it got its strength back.

* * *

_"You... will never... be a god."_

Pain. It was nothing new but this time... 

_Can't breathe._

He could still feel the hand around his throat, cutting off air and blood flow alike. There was nothing he could do about it. Nothing.

He could still feel his body break under the force.

_Slowly. Intimately._

Like his words against a mortal enemy years ago, now coming back to haunt him. How ironic.

He tried to lift his hand but it hit something hard and smooth.

Carefully, he opened his eyes enough to peek between his eyelashes. If anyone was watching it was better to seem asleep still. At least till he had assessed the situation.

His hand was touching a transparent surface continuing over and around him. There wasn't much space but no lack of air. A capsule bed of some sort.

He forced himself to remain calm.

Was it all a trick after all? Bringing him to Hel's doorstep only to snatch him back, over and over again? He had been promised suffering for his failure.

_"You will long for something as sweet as pain."_

So the time had come.

He swallowed, feeling the resistance in his swollen throat. It was painful but manageable. What had been broken seemed healed. For whatever purpose.

_Where is Thor?_

Killed, most likely. Thanos wouldn't see any use for him once his sadistic pleasures were sated.

It had been a foolish attempt, a desperate act. He tried to justify it to himself but came up short. It was not like him to do something so fruitless, to attack Thanos in such a manner. Perhaps Ebony Maw had dulled his thought processes, perhaps...

Someone was entering the room.

* * *

"Are you sure he's awake?"

The medi-computer answered affirmatively.

She glanced towards the pod. There was no sign of movement but something was off. She could feel it.

"Anything on the brain scan?"

"Some oxygen deprivation but no critical areas affected."

"Good."

She approached the pod.  
"I found you floating in space," she said. Your ship was destroyed." She released the mechanism to unlock the lid. "You have nothing to fear from me but I can and will defend myself if need be."

There was no response.

"I can also tell when someone is lying," she continued. "It's a trait of my people and I know you are pretending right now."

The man's chest moved, as he released a sigh. Then he opened his eyes and looked right into hers.


	2. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious man is awake and he's very polite.

The man seemed to measure her up before he spoke.  
"And what people would that be?" he said, flashing a smile only to have it disrupted by a coughing fit.

"You may want to wait with talking," she said. "At least till the swelling goes down."

"That may indeed be wise," he wheezed, attempting to sit up.

She left him space to swing his legs over the side.  
"My people refer to themselves as _Darrosi_. I doubt you've heard of them."

The man closed his eyes for a moment but she couldn't tell if it was because he was thinking or just being dizzy.

"Do you need to throw up?" she asked. "I'd prefer some warning if you do."

He moistened his lips.  
"I do not," he said, shaking a strand of hair out of his face, only to stiffen with a pained grimace.

She returned to the medi-computer, careful not to turn her back to the stranger.  
"It says here you have a crack in a vertebra. It should heal by itself if you don't move around too much. Do I need to put you in a neck brace?"

"That will not be necessary", he said, "but thank you for your kind offer."

Yup, definitely elite, judging from his speech. She still wasn't sure about the Sakaarian part though.

"If you tell me your name and homeworld I might be able to bring you there," she said.

"The name is Loki. My homeworld, as you put it, was unfortunately destroyed not long ago so it would make little sense to bring me there."

He stood up, stretching carefully, checking mobility in his limbs.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said, feeling genuinely sympathetic.

"Thank you. Perhaps I may inquire as of your own name?"

_Damn! He's more polite than most people I meet these days._

"It's Ara. Do you have any preference on where I should bring you? Where was your ship headed?"

"It bears to think about. Were there, by any chance, other survivors?"

She shook her head.  
"Not that I could find. I'm sorry."

"Ah..." There was a twitch at the corner of his mouth. "Then, I believe, my original destination may no longer be valid."

"Take your time to think," she said. "I'll show you were to clean up."

* * *

She had no intention of looking at him naked but made sure to have him artificially monitored the entire time he was out of her view. There were too many unanswered questions yet and taking unnecessary risks was never a good idea.

She replayed the distress call but there wasn't much information to gain. The name "Asgard" told her nothing.

Who would attack a refugee ship? And why?

Loki returned, his black hair in moist ringlets over his collar. Despite the cuts on his face he looked decidedly refreshed.

"I couldn't help noticing that you refer to your people as 'them'," he said as he took a seat beside her. "Might there be a reason you no longer consider yourself a part of their kind?"

The question was innocent enough but only on the surface. He was gathering information. And he was perceptive.

She pushed a bowl of snacks within his reach.  
"I don't live there anymore. We had some catastrophic events and the wrong people seized power." She shrugged her shoulders. "It seemed better to leave."

"I see." Loki looked at the oddly shaped food bit in his hand and put it into his mouth after some hesitation. He glanced around the room. "Your medical equipment seems rather advanced."

"Depends on what you compare with but yes, my home planet has developed refined ways to perform robotic surgery. It's more reliable than using people, less room for mistakes."

"Hmm..." He picked up another bite. A subtle flutter was the only warning before it was snatched from his fingers.

"What in Hel's name...?"

"Isiz, no!" 

The animal parked itself on a shelf, folded its shimmering wings and began to eat, unfazed by the scolding.

"That's one peculiar creature," Loki said.

"It's a _vanak_ and it can make itself invisible to anyone beneath it. It also spits venom. Try not to agitate it."

"I don't believe I was," he frowned.

"No, she's just a mischief-maker. Have another one." She indicated the bowl. "I think she felt ignored."

"It's your pet?" Loki picked another snack, not taking his eyes off the vanak.

"Sort of. More like a friend, really."

He looked around again.  
"It's just you? The two of you?"

She watched him steadily.  
"Yes. If you think it makes me vulnerable, think again."

"Oh, I'm sure you know how to take care of yourself," he said smoothly.

Isiz flew down to sit on her shoulder, rubbing her head against Ara's hair. She absently caressed the animal with a finger.  
"Have you given any thought to where you want to go?" she asked.

"Perhaps. There was another ship..."

"The one that attacked yours?"

"Yes, did you happen to see it?"

"No, but it must have had a lot of firepower. There really wasn't much left."

"It had more than that," Loki said, his jaw tightening. "I was wondering if you might be able to find out where it was heading."

She thought about it for a moment.  
"I could analyze its direction based on the movements of the debris and calculate some possibilities from that but it won't be very exact."

"I would still appreciate it."

She got up from her seat.  
"I'll see what I can do."

She began feeding instructions into the main computer, sensing more than hearing Loki coming up to stand by her side. He moved very quietly, with full control of his body. It strengthened her suspicion that he was a trained fighter even if his way of speaking conveyed something else.

She was less concerned about turning her back to him now, having assessed him for a while. If he were to try something it wouldn't happen until he had what he wanted.

"You're sure you don't want that neck brace?" she said. "You look like you're in pain."

"It is nothing."

She looked at him more closely.  
"If you're trying to be the stoic manly man, that won't impress me," she said. "Go sit down!"

Loki frowned.  
"I believe I can determine for myself if and when I need rest."

She turned away from the console.  
"At least let me check you over. It's going to take a while before the calculations are done."

Reluctantly he allowed her to scan his neck via the medi-computer. It was easy to tell he was just doing it to humor her.

"Your implant has moved," she said. "It must have come loose when you were injured and once you started walking around it began to shift."

"My... implant?"

"Yes, that thing in your..." she stared at him. "You didn't know?"

Loki stared back at her, his eyes dark with rage.  
"Take it out now!"


	3. Freed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Restrictions are lifted and a search begins.

It was a peculiar thing, metallic but moldable. It seemed to emit some sort of radiation on a wavelength she'd never seen before.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Well enough," Loki muttered. He was pale and trembling but refused to lie down. The removal of the implant had been more invasive than the previous throat surgery.

"I thought you were aware of it," she said. "It's perfectly adapted to your physiology. Whoever put it there knew what they were doing."

"They certainly did." He looked at his hand as it flickered with an eerie green light. "You are sure there aren't more?"

"I'm sure. Considering where it was located I'm guessing it was meant to impact your brain function somehow."

He didn't answer, merely closed his fist tight and pressed it against his mouth. The anger was palpable.

She picked something up from the surface behind the medi-pod.  
"I understand you don't want to wear this but it helps you heal faster."

Loki looked at the collar-like object with distaste.  
"What is the purpose of the stripes in the back?"

"They emit a signal that stimulates healing and the release of endorphins. If you insist on being up and walking, you're better off with this on."

Loki reluctantly let her place the brace around his neck. As she leaned in to fasten it Isiz swooped down and batted a wing in her face.

"Ugh, stop!"

"It does crave attention," Loki commented. He fingered the neck brace. "This is ridiculous."

"No, it's good for you. Don't be such a child!"

He rolled his eyes.  
"Are children the ones you usually attend to in this vessel? Judging from the extensiveness of your equipment you are obviously a healer of sorts."

"I used to be. And no, children were not my primary patients."

She observed Loki as he stood up and carefully assessed his mobility. He still didn't look well but it didn't seem like he was about to pass out either.  
"I have the calculations," she said, "whenever you're ready to look at them."

"Show me!"

The result was less than clear.

"Are you sure there was only one ship beside yours? This looks like it could be at least three, taking off in different directions."

"Considering its size there could have been smaller ships shielded within or behind it," Loki pondered.

"This is what confuses me." She pointed at the display. "You see how the debris moves here? It looks like a smaller ship arrived _after_ yours blew up, then took off again."

Loki frowned.  
"That is indeed strange. Can you show possible destinations for them all?"

She switched image on the display.  
"These are the results. It doesn't narrow it down much."

Loki bit his lip, then reached out to touch the display, enhancing part of the image. After studying it for a bit, he reset it to its original size and went on to explore another part.  
He was quick at figuring things out, she noted.

"You understand the problem?" she said. "The more ships moving around in the area the harder it is to get accurate results. Too many factors affecting the debris."

"I understand," Loki affirmed, not taking his eyes off the display. 

With Isiz perched on her shoulder, Ara brought out something more substantial to eat. Loki was a mystery she found herself more and more intrigued by. He was holding himself tightly together while discreetly observing his environment, hypervigilant under the charming exterior. Like the scars on his body told a story, so did his behavior. This wasn't his first brush with death.

* * *

Loki's hand trembled. He quickly lowered it, tightening it into a fist.

_Not now. This is no time to fall apart._

He couldn't believe Thanos had put an implant inside him.

It could have been worse. He had seen some of Thanos' "children". Fought them even.

It must have happened when he'd been passed out, exhausted after a "session". He tried to recall feeling sore, like now, but came up empty. In all the pain, the aftermath of surgery wouldn't have stood out.

The rage burned in him, made him want to squish something, lash out with his magic, throw things over.

_Not now._

He forced himself to focus.

At least one ship had been sent to Midgard; there was little else in that direction and he had sensed the Time Stone's presence when faced with that pathetic mortal calling himself a sorcerer.

Loki's hand flashed green. The magic was running like dark blood through his veins, free of restraint for the first time in years.

He'd only been able to use a fraction of it after his time in Chitauri space. It had irked him immensely but every time he'd tried to call it forth he'd only come up tired and frustrated from the effort. Something had held it back, like a strangely soft wall, bulging but not breaking. The books he'd read while posing as Odin had explained it in mental terms; traumatic experiences could cause inhibitions in one's magical ability, much like a warrior afraid to return to battle after being wounded.

It had made some sense. Not a whole lot, but some. What he had been through had changed him; he was the first one to acknowledge the fact. Yet, it had felt as a less than satisfying answer. His magic had saved him more than once; why would it fail him now?

He'd tried everything: relaxation, meditation, starting over with simple beginner's spells and working towards increasingly more complex ones. Every time he had ended up hitting the same wall.

And this was why. An implant designed to inhibit his magic, and quite possibly his thought processes as well, had been put in him. 

This was why his senses had dulled when facing Thanos and the Black Order anew. And Thanos had enjoyed watching his feeble attempt at deceit, knowing full well the limits imposed on him.

_You will pay for this, Titan. For everything._


	4. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation and a look into Ara's past.

When Loki came to join her for the meal, he seemed somewhat more at ease.

"Did you find anything?" she asked, handing him a bowl.

"I believe so," he said, sniffing the content cautiously.

"It's quite edible, don't worry."

"Oh, I have no doubt." He glanced around.

"If you're looking for Isiz, I think you're safe. She usually doesn't go for soup."

"That is reassuring," Loki smiled.

"Just don't show her the meat."

Loki emitted a sound that sounded suspiciously close to a snort.  
"I don't know how you can live with a creature stealing your food at whim."

"She rarely steals from me, actually. Like I said, it's mostly for attention."

As if on cue, Isiz flew over Loki's head, low enough to ruffle his hair, and settled on a counter with a disapproving screech.

"Infernal bird!" he muttered, smoothing out his hair.

"She's not a bird. Those are scales, not feathers."

Loki rolled his eyes.  
"Yes, yes, I'm not blind. It needs to learn some manners."

Ara quickly put food in her mouth to suppress a giggle.  
"Interesting fact," she said. "Vanaks are predators and they attack their prey from above, so to keep themselves from being seen they _turn_ the scales on their underbelly till they become reflective. That way they stay invisible until really close."

"Fascinating," Loki muttered, trying to eat with the neck brace hampering his movements.

"Do you need help?"

"I do not."

"Don't let pride get the better of you."

"And what would you know about pride?" he said.

"I know that pride can get you killed."

He seemed to ponder that, eating quietly before speaking again.  
"I do find it curious how someone who's obviously medically trained come to spend their time picking up survivors off damaged space crafts rather than finding a more... lucrative way to use their assets."

"Like serving rich people, you mean?" She couldn't keep the bitterness from tainting her voice. "I used to serve the colonies of my homeworld. Miners, farmers, scientists... It wasn't about money. It was about what needed to be done."

"So why leave?" Loki asked, his tone casual. "Were your services no longer needed under the new regime?"

"Oh, they were needed..." She played with her spoon, thinking back. "Those in charge wanted to send more people to the colonies, replacing those who were... lost. Except they wanted to send mainly underprivileged people, as a way of getting the 'undesired' off the planet. At the same time, they wanted to cut down on the medical service, claiming that the colonists should make do with the limited facilities they had. Essentially, those who couldn't be treated in-colony should just be left sick or die."

"And you didn't agree with their decision, I take it?"

"No, I didn't." She continued eating. "They wanted to use the medical ships for other purposes, which came down to catering to rich and privileged people. I had little say in the matter."

"I see." Loki had found a technique for eating with dignity, despite the brace. Isiz was staring him down but made no attempt to get closer.

"Is your curiosity satisfied," Ara said, "or do you still think I'm a threat?"

Loki frowned.  
"I didn't mean to imply I saw you as such."

"You've been assessing me since you woke up like you're expecting me to turn on you any moment. It's only now you're starting to relax and I'm not sure that isn't just the brace triggering your endorphins. What happened to you?"

The straight question seemed to leave him speechless for a moment. He moistened his lips.  
"I believe it's quite normal to be cautious when meeting strangers in unexpected places. Surely you must know that?" His look hardened. "Or you are more naive than you claim."

"This is more than basic caution," she said, putting her empty bowl away. "You're not a mercenary or an ordinary soldier but you certainly have fighting experience. I somehow don't think you're from Sakaar either, despite what your clothing says, but you have a privileged background."

Loki was watching her, slowly rubbing his thumb against the palm of his other hand.  
"I'm apparently not the only one assessing my company. In my experience, nobody does anything for nothing and yet you act like you're working for a noble cause?"

"There is nothing noble about it. If I cared about that I would have stayed home and ended up executed for being in the resistance. I'm doing this because I want to be doing it. It makes no difference in the big span of things but it gives a chance to the few people I pick up when I answer a distress call."

"And you're not expecting a reward for doing such?"

"If they can pay me, they do but that's not the point. It's about doing what you want whether it makes sense to others or not." She held out her arm to let Isiz climb up on it.

Loki pursed his lips, thinking.  
"So if I asked you to bring me to, say, Knowhere... you would have no objections?"

She looked at him.  
"You want to go to Knowhere?"

"If it's in your interest to give people chances, as you put it."

"I'm not so sure I'm giving you a chance by bringing you to that place, but I can if it's what you want."

"It is settled then. I am most grateful."

Loki followed her to the main computer where she set the new course. As he came to stand next to her, Isiz lashed out with her wings in his direction.

"Don't agitate her," Ara said, her eyes focused on the screen.

"She seems agitated by my very presence," Loki frowned. 

"There! It's done." She turned away from the computer. "It's going to be a bumpy ride with all the jumps. This ship wasn't built for long-distance travel."

"I'm sure we'll manage."

Loki looked tired, she noticed. The signs were subtle but he wouldn't be able to hold himself together much longer.  
"I have a room where you can rest," she said. "It will take a while before we arrive. Take your chance to sleep while you can."


	5. Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the stress takes its toll...

The jump woke Ara from her nap and the first thing she did was to check on Loki via the cameras in the recovery room.

He was sitting up in bed, not having bothered to undress, and was undoing the neck brace. After putting it down he ran his hands through his hair while taking a deep breath. Slowly, he removed his upper clothing, revealing a lean, well-shaped form with firm muscles and a small amount of chest hair. He carefully touched his neck where large, finger-shaped bruises had appeared on his pale skin. It looked like a giant had tried to strangle him.

Ara shuddered. What had happened aboard that ship?

* * *

The skin was tender where he prodded it and his neck still hurt when moving. There was some improvement, however. His body was healing as it should.

Hel had refused him entry once again.

And for what?

Asgard was gone. Its people... He didn't know if any of them had made it to the escape pods before the attack tore the ship apart. Ara had found no more survivors.

Thor was gone, just like Frigga, Odin, Heimdall... so many lives lost.

It felt strangely empty around him, like the time he'd fallen through the void before being sucked into the collapsing Bifrost stream and thrown across the universe.

He should have died then.

It had been his intention to die then.

To end it all, to no longer have to care whether he had Odin's approval or not, whether he was equal to Thor or not. He had given it his all, being opposed and betrayed at every turn, only to end up rejected once again. There had been nothing left to give, no reason to hold on.

Just like now, he had ended up alone.

Closing his eyes, he swallowed against the resistance in his throat. There was only one way to go from here. Ara would bring him to Knowhere. If he was lucky, Thanos would be there.

Luck. As if it had ever been in his favor.

He remained seated, listening to the silence. The absence of sound was always so haunted by his own thoughts. Now those thoughts were crystal clear, weighing down on him with piercing intensity.

Those years as Odin... he had felt his mind slipping away from him, growing careless. He had blamed it on the confinement, of having to hide who he was for so long. Why...

His hands were shaking.

It was a natural reaction, he told himself. 

_Just let it run its course._

There was nobody watching now; he didn't need to be self-conscious. Even so, the woman was unlikely to use his weakness against him. She had her own code of honor, as little sense as it made.

She was foolish, but useful. 

He felt his heart racing. It was most uncomfortable. Delayed reaction, he told himself.

_Let it run its course. It will pass._

The implant was gone. He had full access to his magic. His mind was no longer clouded.

_It will pass._

When the jump had woken him there had been a moment, just between sleep and wakeful state, where he had felt the hand around his throat again, squeezing mercilessly. It had been too real, too physical, too...

He closed his fists, tried to regain control of his breathing. His mouth was suddenly too dry, his thoughts too loud. There was a weight inside his chest, becoming heavier with every breath. It would suffocate him, it would...

* * *

"Loki."

She was careful in approaching him, making sure to get his attention before sitting down next to him on the bed.  
"You're safe. It's just a reaction to what you've been through."

She had seen it before, in miners who'd been trapped underground and barely made it out alive. In people who had seen their loved ones perish in _The Halving_.

Loki was clenching his teeth, struggling for control.

She placed a hand on his wrist, let it rest there, and waited.

He was tense under her touch, his knuckles white.

"You're safe," she repeated. "What happened, happened but you're here now. You're not alone."

"What... do you know... about safe?" he hissed. "What... do you know... about anything?" He clamped his eyes shut, tears glistening in his eyelashes.

"I know more than you think." She took his hand between both of hers, meeting little resistance. "Life isn't fair, you know that. Sometimes it hits you so hard it feels like you'll never be able to get up again."

She paused to give him time to absorb the words.  
"Your world was destroyed, wasn't it? And your ship too. You almost lost your life."

Loki lifted his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. His breaths came harsh and shallow.  
"I have... survived worse."

"Not worse," she said, eyeing the scar on his chest, "only similar. Someone tried to strangle you. It doesn't get much worse than that."

She massaged his hand with gentle movements.  
"You also found out that there was an implant in your head that you hadn't consented to have put there. You don't think you have the right to be in shock?"

He was trembling, more tears spilling between his fingers as he tried to rub them away.  
"You don't know... half of the matter." 

"I know that you are very young and very proud and that life hasn't been kind to you."

She felt his hand move, grasping her's tight. He was remarkably strong, she noticed, his grip borderline painful.

She didn't comment on it, just waited for him to calm, sensing a very delicate, vulnerable trust that could easily shatter. 

Eventually, the shaking stopped. Loki moistened his lips, took a deep breath and withdrew his hand. The movement was slow, almost regretful.  
"You are most perceptive," he said. "I imagine there being few secrets among your kind."

"Oh, we have them," she said. "No world is free from secrets."

"Of course," Loki agreed, "though it seems your ability to detect deceptions would reveal most of them quickly."

"Most, yes. Unfortunately, deception is not the only way people gain control over others."


	6. Concerns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hauntings of the past and worries about the future.

Loki was... conflicted.

He had not realized there were cameras in the resting area. Ara had explained to him that it was a recovery area for patients when she showed him his bed, but he had been too eager for rest and alone time to consider what kind of surveillance that might include.

Now he knew.

He had learned early not to show how deeply things affected him. Vulnerability was a weakness, open emotion an invitation to mockery.

Only, Ara hadn't mocked or scolded him for falling apart. She had said the very words he needed to hear and he had ended up clinging to her like a man drowning. Weeping like a child in front of a stranger. It was pathetic. Pathetic and humiliating.

He shuddered in disgust.

She was useful, he reminded himself. That was all that mattered. Once they reached Knowhere, they'd go separate ways. 

"Where is the flying lizard?" he said, walking through the door to the room Ara was currently residing in.

"She's around here somewhere," Ara said. "Keep insulting her and you'll find out."

His patience was running thin with the creature who kept pestering him at every turn. He had tried to zap it with magic when Ara wasn't looking but to no avail. The infernal brace also kept hampering his movements and made it near impossible to turn fast enough when the dreaded fluttering appeared behind him.

"How many jumps are left?"

"Thirteen," she said. "We could go faster but the ship needs to replenish its energy between each jump or we end up drained."

"You need better power cells."

"I was hoping to find some upgrades at Knowhere."

He watched her working at the medi-computer, doing what appeared to be diagnostics of the equipment.

The thought of Ara lingering on Knowhere bothered him. If Thanos had already arrived, which was likely, staying around would be dangerous. Not to mention that it was a lawless area to begin with.

"There must be better options for obtaining what you need," he said. "At least, more reliable ones."

"Maybe... but since we're going there anyway, I'm going to take a look. I can't afford new ones, so it needs to be something cheap that I can fix up myself."

"Most of what you'll find will be obtained illegally," he commented.

"That's why it's cheap."

He sat down, studying her for a bit.  
"You are aware it is not your regular marketplace where you can simply stroll in and ask for service, thinking no one will bother you?"

She gave him a positively unimpressed look.  
"You are aware that I don't need your approval for what I choose to do?"

Loki sighed.  
"Of course not. I'm merely pointing out that it would be unwise to take on such an endeavor on your own. You may be able to protect yourself while on your ship, with one or two passengers posing a threat, but Knowhere is quite a different matter."

"I know. I've been there." 

Of course, she had. Foolish woman.

"Perhaps, if you..."

"Look," she said, turning towards him, "I don't care what you are planning on doing there. I don't need to know and I have no reason to interfere with it. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"And what if your very presence is an interference?" Loki insisted.

"I don't see how it could be." She met his gaze without wavering. "There is some other reason you don't want me there. What is it?"

"Is it not enough that I wish for your safety? I owe you my life, after all."

She studied him.  
"You do," she agreed, "but I need those power cells, and I'm not going to pass up a chance to get them without good reason. You will have to accept that."

"Very well." Loki made a dismissive hand gesture. "I was merely expressing my concern. No doubt, you know what you're doing."

He cursed internally but there was little to gain from persisting. It was better to let the subject fall. For now.

* * *

Another jump made her slightly nauseous. That was a big one but it was unavoidable. She quickly got up to check on the power.

Loki's attempt at keeping her away from Knowhere came back to memory. Whatever shady business he was planning on, she wanted no part of it. She just wanted her power cells and whatever else she could get her hands on. Their paths would never have to cross again.

Satisfied with her check, she scrolled through the databases. Provisions were stocked, equipment functioning, nothing needed her immediate attention.

An image came up on screen just as Isiz landed on her shoulder and made a soft squeak.

"Do you recognize it?" Ara said. "It's been a while."

The image showed a large and luscious forest, mostly green but with an orange shimmer here and there, where a less common plant species came to view.

She switched to another image, of a city. Shiny spires rose against a purple sky, a sun setting in the background.

The next one was a scene from a documentary, a voice-over commenting on a memorial sculpted like a flower where every second petal was folded, closed, while the rest remained open.

"I know you are there," she said. "There's no need to hide."

Loki appeared by her side.  
"I was uncertain whether you wished to remain undisturbed," he said.

"There's no need," she answered. "I'm not busy."

"Your homeworld?" he asked, indicating the screen.

Ara nodded.  
"It used to be."

"If you don't mind me asking, what is _The Halving_ they keep referring to?"

She drew a breath.  
"It's the catastrophe that ruined everything."


	7. Damaged Creatures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ara is telling her story and Loki gets... uncomfortable.

"This was my world," Ara said, "before it happened."

Images filled the screen; people mingling in city streets, researchers working in a laboratory, a dance performance before an audience, workers in a high-tech factory.

"And this," she continued, "was after."

The streets were all but empty; only a few people moving about, passing by closed venues and stores. There was a market with empty shelves, a public park overgrown with weeds, an overfull hospital ward.

"There were so many dead, we couldn't deal with the bodies fast enough," Ara explained. "People got sick."

"So, what caused it?" Loki asked, already knowing the answer. It all fit. The memorial, the deterioration, the overwhelming deaths...

"An alien force came. We thought they wanted to invade us but they just... rounded people up and killed them. They took some of our tech but there was no justification for the killings at all. They just murdered people at random. When they left, half our population was gone."

"And you had no defenses?"

"We had plenty; it just wasn't enough. Their force was ten times ours; we didn't stand a chance."

Of course not. Thanos only attacked where he was sure to win.

"My sympathies," Loki said. There was a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Thank you." 

The creature on Ara's shoulder tried to nip at his clothes and he slapped it away. Isiz immediately retorted by spitting on his hand, making him hiss in pain.

"I told you she spits. Be careful."  
Ara got up and brought out a small, flat bottle. She applied a cooling gel to the back of his hand with gentle fingers.

"You saw it happen?" he asked.

"I was there, yes."

It was oddly soothing to watch her work, feeling her touch against his skin. He wanted it to last. He wanted... _something_ , but couldn't quite define what.

"Your world seemed to be thriving. If not to conquer, what do you assume their reason was for attacking?"

Ara closed the bottle again and wiped her hands.  
"They claimed that we were overpopulated and needed to be 'balanced'. It didn't make any sense." 

"You weren't?"

She frowned.  
"We had problems with resources but they were being solved. We had finally managed to create a system where they were properly distributed and utilized. Everything was getting better, we were almost there..." She made a gesture towards the screen. "Then this... _cult leader_ comes from the skies and ruins everything. Everything we'd worked so hard on."

Cult leader... Yes, it was a remarkably accurate description. He cringed at the memory of his time in Chitauri space. A memory he had done his best to keep out of mind but that still haunted him in nights when the sleep wouldn't come.

_Freedom is life's great lie._

"How much did you manage to rebuild?" he asked, pushing the thought away.

"We began, but some of our most important specialists were gone and it took time to train new ones. We needed new governmental leaders too, people who could organize everything. Our whole infrastructure crumbled."

There was passion in Ara's voice, contained but seething like the eye of a storm. He found himself unexpectedly attracted to it.

"Some people, who didn't agree with our progress, saw their chance and rose to power. The rest didn't have the strength to fight, being too busy with trying to survive and patching their lives back together."

She turned to look at him.  
"My world might not be physically gone, like yours, but I do understand what it is to lose everything. Don't ever doubt that."

"I will keep that in mind."

Ara stroke the vanak over its head. It seemed pleased by the attention.

"And the creature? Is it some sort of connection to what you lost?"

"She's from one of our colonies," Ara said, ignoring the question. "I nursed her when she was wounded. She can't survive in the wild anymore so I took her in. It's better than the alternative."

"Which was...?"

"There are no sanctuaries for vanaks. She would either be put in captivity by a collector or killed because of the value of her skin. They are very rare and will probably be extinct soon."

"Ah... I see."

He felt a sudden need to stand up and move, to pace. The newly revived magic vibrated within him, promoting restlessness. At least, that was what he was telling himself.

"So, what's your story?" Ara asked. "If you don't mind sharing."

Oh, he minded. He very much minded.

"There isn't much to tell," he said with caution. "My homeworld, Asgard as it's known, was destroyed but some of our people managed to escape aboard a ship. We were attacked unexpectedly and... you know the rest."

"You're not much of a storyteller, are you?"

"Only when there is something to tell."

She was watching him, her eyes piercing into his hardened soul. It took willful effort not to look away.

_Damn woman!_

"You don't have to tell me anything," she said. "It's not my place to demand answers from you."

Understanding. Compassion. The very least of things he needed right now.

"Indeed, it's not your place."

The words felt dry on his tongue.

Ara merely cocked an eyebrow.  
"I think we need something to eat," she said smoothly and strolled towards the cooking area.

He slowly followed, making a face at the vanak who hissed at him.

"So, you spend your time picking up damaged creatures and restoring their health." He leaned against the wall while watching her prepare the edibles. "With a history like yours, few would find it worth the effort to care."

"It's what makes me care," she said. "Don't make the mistake to think spite isn't one of my motivations. Everything I do, every life I save, is a nail in the eye of people like the politicians back home or bullies like the ones who invaded us. They destroy life, I restore it."

Ara handed him his food, another foreign-looking mixture he couldn't identify. Luckily, most humanoid life-forms had similar nutrient requirements.

Again, he felt her eyes upon him and he wondered if her ability lay in some form of extraordinarily acute perception or something else, something akin to magic.

It was a pity he would never find out.


	8. Knowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they're arriving, unexpected complications await.

Knowhere was a place Loki was intimately familiar with, having spent some time there before making his fateful deal with Thanos. He was not overly eager to return, present circumstances aside.

As they were approaching their destination, Ara looked concerned.  
"Something is wrong," she said. "Something's happened."

"A battle, or an attack of some kind." Loki tightened his jaw. If they were too late... 

"There are life forms present but I wonder what condition they're in. This is an inferno."

They managed to find a place to land and prepared to face the carnage. Ara held open a carrier device attached to a harness on her chest.  
"Isiz, in the pouch. Now!"

The creature made itself small and eagerly squeezed into the contraption.

"I would leave her on the ship but she'd throw a tantrum. Are you ready?

"I am, though I strongly advise you to rethink your options."

"Let's go then."

She opened the doors and stepped out. Loki was quick to overtake her, all his senses on alert. According to the ship's scanners, there were no dangers nearby but it could quickly change.

He looked around but the area seemed empty, devoid of life and movement. A ship on another landing pad was badly damaged, as if hit by a powerful blast of energy.

Ara activated the lockdown procedure on her own ship before continuing further.  
"I guess this is where we say goodbye," she said. "I'm wishing you the best."

Of course she was.

"You have my everlasting gratitude," Loki said. "If I can ever repay your kindness, I will not hesitate to do so." In a spontaneous gesture, he took her hand and touched it to his lips. 

A gesture meant for court, for a time and place far removed from where they were and what he had become. He cared not.

There was a hollow sensation in his chest when he walked away. She wasn't his responsibility. If that woman wanted to risk her life being honorable, it was none of his concern. None at all.

Finding his way to the Collector was easy enough. He could feel eyes watching him at every turn but nobody dared step in his way. It was a good thing. He had no time to lose.

Tivan's residence seemed to have taken the worst of the damage and his heart sank. Cursing the slowness of Ara's ship, he used his magic to search for Thanos presence. The devastation was recent, perhaps...

"There is someone alive in here."

He turned on his heel to face Ara.  
"Are you following me?"

"No, I was looking for someone else but was told he skipped out when the trouble started." She was holding a small device in her hand, eyeing it closely while climbing over the debris. A scanner. "There is a body under here."

Loki walked up to where she was hovering and impatiently lifted a chunk of twisted metal out of the way.

The Collector gasped.

"It's alright," Ara said, her voice soothing. "Don't move."

She examined him while Loki kept an eye on their surroundings.

"It's a miracle you're alive," she commented. "I guess it's true what they say about your kind."

"We are... quite resilient... indeed," Tivan wheezed.

"Yes, I see that a lot lately." She finished her routine. "There isn't much I can do for you. Even if I brought you aboard my ship..."

"We are not bringing him aboard!" Loki snapped. Was she mad? Did she know who she was dealing with?

Ara gave him a look before continuing:  
"Even if I brought you aboard, it wouldn't help. Your physiology is too different."

"I should heal... given time."

"I hope so. Let me wrap up the worst and make you comfortable."

"Are you going to do this with every half-dead creature you see?" Loki hissed. "We don't have the time for this."

"You are free to leave." She brought out dressings and set to work. Isiz poked her head out of the pouch.

"Is that... a vanak?" The Collector suddenly looked more alert.

"Really?" Ara all but rolled her eyes. "You don't have a collection anymore."

"I will... rebuild it. Start again. A vanak... is a good beginning. Small... but good."

"She's not for sale."

Loki's patience had run its course. He placed a hand on the Collector's brow, ignoring Ara's protests as the other man's memories flooded his mind.

Thanos had been there. Come and left. With the Aether.

Loki let out a frustrated sound and stood.

Too late, always too late. The Norns were against him indeed.

The fact that Thanos was retrieving the stones himself rather than sending others, like in the past, was a strong indication that he already knew where to find them all. The Soul stone's whereabouts were unknown, as far as Loki knew, but both the mind stone and the time stone had last been seen on Midgard. That other ship... They would face those Midgardian friends of Thor's.

Perhaps there was still a chance.

"If I may request another favor..., he began as Ara finally seemed done attending to the Collector. He took her aside before continuing. "If we could do something about those power cells, would you be willing to bring me someplace else?"

"What do you have in mind?"

Curiosity. Good. She didn't flat out refuse.

"It's quite an obscure world. I doubt you're familiar with it."

The blast came out of nowhere, barely missing Loki's shoulder, and zinged Ara's hair.

He pushed her down and covered her with his body. Isiz screeched over being squashed and Ara shifted under him to get her weight off the pouch.

Holding his breath, he listened. Their only shelter was some unidentified debris, smoldering from a dying fire that tickled his throat and would make one of them cough sooner or later, revealing their position. There was no better hiding place in sight.

The seconds ticked by. At least the woman had the sense to hold still and be quiet. 

Slightly distracted by the way her body moved against his every time she took a breath, he kept listening, reaching out with his magic for the enemy's presence...

There were two of them. One whose attempts at moving quietly would put a hoard of bilgesnipes to shame and another... more subtle.

He licked his lips, considering his options, then whispered in Ara's ear:  
"Whatever happens, do not move!"

Moments later, the noisier one appeared above them, on top of the debris pile.  
"Up!" he ordered, making an upwards motion with his weapon. It was a heavy piece, enough to kill them both in one shot, considering the short distance. Loki slowly moved off Ara and rose with his hands up.


	9. Cooperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Facing threats and finding out what you may have in common...

When faced with two threats, take down the biggest one first.

The biggest threat wasn't necessarily the one with the deadliest weapon, Loki knew, but the one with the brains and skills. The enemy presently standing above Ara was a distraction, the other, quiet one, the real danger.

He moved silently, invisibly, while his cloned illusion kept the first man busy. Spotting his target, he edged closer. As much as he would have preferred a throwing knife, the body falling would make a ruckus and he couldn't risk it. Not with Ara in the fire line.

A few steps and he was close enough. The other man barely had time to notice him before the dagger pierced his throat.

Loki carefully lowered the body to the ground before moving on. So far so good.

The other man was descending, focusing on Ara and Loki's illusion. It was easy enough to sneak up on him from the side and unarm him as he reached for the pouch. As the illusion dissolved, Loki locked his arm around the man's throat.  
"Your companion will not come to your rescue so I suggest that you cooperate."

Ara was on her feet, carefully eyeing their surroundings while calming down a hissing and spitting Isiz. He was impressed by her composure but not all that surprised.

Loki tightened his grip and let the man struggle for a few moments before speaking further.  
"If you wish to make yourself useful, you can tell us where to find power cells. Or I can end you know; the choice is yours."

The man's eyes darted back and forth but he seemed to realize the futility of the situation.  
"Mole..." he began.

"Mole has left," Ara said. "Try again."

"She can tell when you're lying," Loki warned. "It's a most useful skill."

The other man swallowed nervously.  
"Mole's contact... He gets them from a guy at the docks."

"Who?" Ara insisted. She was holding her hand over the pouch, stroking the vanak's head with soothing movements.

The man gave them a name and directions. Once he was done, Ara lifted her arm, revealing a stunner strapped with a metal band to her forearm, and shot him. He immediately went limp in Loki's arms.

"You would have killed him," Ara explained. "It's unnecessary."

"I prefer my adversaries not coming back to stab me in the back later on," Loki argued but dropped the unconscious body to the floor without further action.

"He'll be out for 20 minutes and probably run the other way if he sees us again. Let's go!"

* * *

The power cells they had to settle with were far from ideal but during the circumstances, they couldn't afford to be picky. According to Ara, she would have to modify them anyway to fit with her ship.

"We'll be using the old ones till after the next jump," she said as they reentered the ship. "I'll tweak the new ones in the meantime."

"Perhaps I can be of assistance in that," Loki suggested.

"Do you know anything about power cells?" She closed the airlock behind them and let Isiz out of the pouch. 

"I know enough, and I may have some suggestions."

"You're a man of many talents," she smiled.

It was odd how that smile affected him. Odd and just a bit unsettling.

He had little time to think about it as they set to work and that was just as well. Traveling to Midgard was a gamble but he was running out of options. If Thanos' minions were sent there, they would meet opposition, which meant their retrieval of the stones might be delayed long enough for him to reach them first.

"Are we going to talk about the Titan in the room?" Ara asked.

Loki froze.

"I'm not sure to what you're referring," he said, keeping both hands on a power cell as he fused its circuits with the help of magic. It was delicate work but he found that the concentration helped his troubled mind.

"Yes, you are. It's not a coincidence that you wanted to go to Knowhere right around the time Thanos attacked there. I think you were looking for him."

Loki straightened up, turning the power cell over to Ara before reaching for the next one.  
"Perhaps."

"You knew who I was talking about all along, didn't you? When I told you about my home planet?"

"I suspected," he said. "Thanos has a history of doing that very thing, erasing half the population of worlds he considers in need of balancing."

"You didn't merely suspect; you knew. I think you know quite a bit more than you're willing to tell."

Loki pursed his lips.  
"My apologies for the secrecy but now perhaps you understand why I wished to keep you from lingering on Knowhere."

Ara nodded and resumed her work.  
"I appreciate your concern," she said, "as I appreciate what you did when we were ambushed. What I don't understand is why you would go after him all by yourself."

"My alternatives are somewhat limited at the moment. I don't have an army at my disposal."

"He was the one who destroyed your ship, wasn't he? Who killed your people?"

Loki could feel a slight tremble in his hands. He swallowed against the sudden tightening of his throat.  
"Some of them might have gotten away. There were escape pods aboard."

He took a deep breath, forcing the nauseating feeling down. This was not the time for another humiliating breakdown. 

The floor had been covered in bodies. Women, children... All mercilessly slaughtered like they meant nothing. The once proud people of Asgard...

He realized that Ara was standing right next to him. He hadn't noticed her move, which meant he must have lost himself in thoughts; spaced out, as the mortals would say. It was not a good thing.

"What?" he asked, sounding rougher than intended.

Unfazed by his tone, she was looking at him, first at his face, then at his neck where the bruises had faded.

"He was the one who did it," she stated as a fact. "He tried to kill you himself."


	10. On Course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some explanations might be due but Loki isn't ready to reveal all.

"Why?" she wanted to know.

What could he tell her? That he had served under the very creature who had destroyed her homeworld and who had finally come to collect their debt?

That he knew every one of Thanos' generals, including the ones responsible for murdering her people before her eyes?

Or that he had endured humiliating, painful things to survive, had his mind twisted in and out as every weakness was turned against him?

She would not understand.

"We had something aboard that he wanted," Loki said, pacing as he spoke. "I was responsible for it and he requested that I reveal it."

"You transported important materials on a refugee ship?"

"We had limited options. Our homeworld had been destroyed, remember? We had only one ship, apart from a small leisure vessel."

He took a deep breath, carefully avoiding meeting her eyes. The less he said, the less likely she would catch that there were things left out.

"I refused at first," he continued, "in the vain hope that one of our still standing warriors would be able to defeat him if I stalled long enough. It did not... have the desired result."

"I see."

She sounded sympathetic without being pitiful. He was grateful for it.

"Not everything you may have heard about Thanos is true," Loki said. "He takes pleasure in the suffering of others. Causing death and destruction, making himself the most powerful being in the universe, ruling over life and death... That is what he really desires, for all his talk about balance."

Loki stopped, pondering whether he should tell her about the stones. A soft flutter warned him that Isiz was approaching but the creature didn't attempt to attack. It settled on a shelf between him and Ara, watching them both with caution.

"He left you for dead," Ara said. "I'm still not sure how you managed to survive but he must have thought that he killed you."

"That was his intent, yes."

"And your intent is to hunt him down?"

"There is little else left to do." With his magic back, there was a chance. And the fact that Thanos didn't expect him to be alive gave the element of surprise. It was a gamble but he had nothing to lose.

"Loki..." There was a serious tone, a sharpness, to Ara's voice. "I won't tell you what to do with your life but sometimes it's better to walk away."

"As you did?" he sneered. "Fleeing into hiding like a coward while your world burns?"

"Leaving a battle you cannot win is not cowardice. Who taught you that?"

There had been a time when those words could have been his own. That time was long past.

"The longer he goes unharmed, the more powerful he becomes. He needs to be stopped before it's too late."

The main computer warned that a jump was imminent and Ara quickly secured the power cells to protect them from damage. Before securing herself, however, the ground shook and she lost her balance.

Loki caught her by the shoulders and held her against himself until the ship stabilized. There was a fleeting sensation of not wanting to let her go and it made him unreasonably angry.

"How will you do it?" Ara said.

"What?"

"How will you defeat him?" She raised her chin, looking him in the eye.

_Cheeky woman!_

"I have my ways."

"Like your magic?"

"For instance. It is not something you need to concern yourself with."

"Yes, it is. If I'm going to bring you, I need to know what to expect."

Loki cursed internally. He had a feeling where this was going.  
"You are to bring me there and nothing else! The world we're heading for has only rudimentary technology; you will find nothing useful there."

Ara smiled.  
"There might be someone I can help."

Loki curled his hand into a fist and slammed it into the nearest surface. The pain somehow cleared his mind.  
"Thanos will destroy half the universe and you worry about some random stranger whose wounds you may be able to heal! It does not matter and it will matter even less after he has the stones."

"The stones?"

"The Infinity Stones." He began pacing again, wanting to get away from her piercing eyes. "They are powerful artifacts, forged at the beginning of time, and the Titan is collecting them. What he did to your homeworld is merely a glimpse of what will happen if he gets his hands on them all."

"I've heard legends, " Ara said, but it's hard to discern what's fact and what's fiction in those. You're claiming they are real?"

"Oh, I can assure you they are real!" He tightened his jaw. "I've seen them."

"They're supposed to kill you if you come near them."

"Not quite. They are contained in vessels that makes them manageable and you need to have the proper skill and power to wield them. They are, in a way, sentient and can protect or resist you at will."

Ara frowned. She held her arm out for Isiz to climb up on her shoulder.

"How did you come in contact with them?"

"Asgard was in possession of two until recently. One was sent to the Collector since it was deemed unwise to keep them together."

"So, that was why Thanos attacked Knowhere... And the world we are heading for?"

"Two more stones have been sighted there. I have reason to believe they're being defended quite viciously."

"Which would buy us time," Ara concluded. "I think it's time to install the new power cells. Come, give me a hand."

* * *

They worked efficiently, considering how little time they'd spent together. Loki caught on quickly to what she tried to do and followed up with the support she needed. He was not only intelligent but also highly perceptive. A man of many talents, indeed.

A combination of mental and physical skills like his was not something she saw very often. Most people only excelled in one of those areas. It wasn't surprising that his people had chosen him to guard the stone on their journey.

"I think we can reach our destination in almost half the time with these," she said, making sure the power cell connections were working optimally. A careless mistake and they might blow up half the ship.

"That would be satisfying." Loki was biting his lip, watching the computer screen as it showed the progress. He was tense, she could tell, but didn't argue about the safety measures.

She had to admit, he intrigued her. That was the real reason she had agreed to bring him to yet another world, rather than leaving him on Knowhere. She didn't run a passenger service; picking up survivors, patching them up and bringing them to where they could manage on their own was all she aimed for. Loki was past that stage and still...

She wasn't ready to let him go just yet.


	11. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The point of no return...

"We're making good speed," Ara said. "I was afraid the power cells might burn out but they're holding up really well. Whatever you did to them, it fixed them up as new."

Loki nodded, his eyes fixed on the screen while absently rubbing his lower lip with a finger. He was becoming increasingly quiet as they approached their destination.

"How about you?" she asked. "Are you holding up?"

"Have I given you reason to assume otherwise?"

"It's not too late to turn around yet."

"You are free to do so, once you bring me where I need to be. I've noticed that you have an escape pod aboard..."

"No, Loki. I'm not sending you down there in an escape pod."

Isiz landed on Ara's shoulder, flapping her wings before settling down.

"It's the third planet from the sun," Ara said while caressing the vanak's head. "We should have a visual soon. Have you been there before?"

"I have."

"Not a good experience?"

"I've had better ones."

If he didn't want to tell her, she wasn't going to push. There were more urgent things to worry about.  
"I'm setting up a protective force field. It will cost us energy but I'd rather not be an open target for whatever might be waiting for us."

"That would be wise," Loki agreed. "I will attempt to hide us from view as we're closing in but it might be for naught if Thanos decides to use the stones at the wrong moment."

"If he does that we might not get close at all."

She didn't like going in blind like this, and something told her that Loki didn't like it either.

"We need time to assess the situation," she said, "see what we're up against."

"There might not be such time."

Ara finished her preparations for the field, then stood and walked up behind Loki, placing her hands on his shoulders. She felt him tense, then willfully relax.  
"I know you want to do this alone but someone having your back can make a lot of difference."

"An entire army at my back would make little difference against the Titan if he's managed to gather all the stones."

"So you plan to slip in undetected and take him by surprise."

"If I can create a distraction, it has a fair enough chance of working."

Ara ran her fingers over the decorated metal plate on Loki's right shoulder. He had changed into a different outfit, with breastplate, armor pieces, and a heavy leather coat. It all showed signs of wear and made him look older, more imposing.  
Only the subtle fidgeting with his hands revealed any nervousness about what was to come.

It was a suicide mission, even with success. A desperate attempt at vengeance.

She felt a sadness about never getting to know this man properly, never learning of his past and his deeper thoughts.

It was the curse of the traveler: don't get attached, don't look back, never regret your choices.

The computer began mapping out the planet before them.

"There is space traffic over that continent," Ara observed. "North of the equator. I think..."

Explosions became visible on the screen.

"I think we've found your distraction," she said, " _and_ an army."

* * *

Entering the battlefield was easy enough. Loki used a cloaking spell to hide himself and Ara so to not be sucked in by the vicious fighting going on around them. Either side might be a danger to them at this point as the combatants were likely to attack first and ask questions later.

"Stay close to me," he reminded her as they attempted to make their way around the worst carnage. If he couldn't make her stay on the ship and leave, he could at least keep her under his protection. Hopefully, she wouldn't decide to stop and treat one of the many fallen warriors on the way.

"How will you find him?" Ara asked, keeping a keen eye on their surroundings. Isiz sat perched on her shoulder, emitting occasional squeaks of displeasure.

"I have my means," Loki said, throwing up a magic shield against a random projectile coming their way. Ricochets and debris could be as deadly as a direct attack.

"Magic, you mean."

Before he could answer, there was a sudden outburst of lightning in the air. The crackling, blinding light spread like twisted branches over the battlefield and the entire ground shook. Ara grabbed Loki's arm.

"What is that?"

"That," Loki said, "would be my brother."

* * *

There was only one thing on Thor's mind when he entered the battleground. The chaos fuelled his rage and, in turn, his powers to new heights, sending the enemy scattering in all directions.

"Bring me Thanos!"

When the moment finally came and he buried his axe in the Titan's chest it was a brief moment of sweetness.

_Suffer as I suffered, as my people did._

Then:  
"You should have gone for the head."

Confused, Thor looked on as Thanos made a move as to snap his fingers... and froze, literally, as a quickly thickening layer of ice began covering the glove on his hand.

Behind the Titan, someone wielded the Casket of Ancient Winters. Someone who looked like a frost giant but much too small and who wore the features of his dead brother.

_It cannot be!_

"His arm, Thor! You oaf!"

Wringing the axe out of Thanos' chest, Thor swang it at the Titan's wrist as the ice already began to splinter into a cloud of glistening particles. Thanos roared, dark purple blood gushing out as the blade severed his hand from his arm, sending the jeweled glove into the dirt.

Furious, he reached for Thor with his other arm, ready to tear him limb from limb.

A concentrated beam of light hit the side of Thanos' face, distracting him. It was an energy weapon, strapped to the arm of a woman Thor had never seen before. Loki appeared by her side, the blue Jotun color already fading from his face.

"You won't harm him with a stunner," Loki said as he raised his hands and made the ground move, molding itself around the Titans feet and legs; slowing down his movements. The glove was equally buried, sucked into the ground before it could be reached.

"It's not a stunner."

The burn on Thanos' face appeared black and searing, emitting a foul smell of rotting flesh. It wasn't enough to stop him but did make him look as mad as he truly was.

"You are only delaying what has to come," Thanos growled as Loki surrounded him with multiple illusions, attacking him from every angle while Thor once again swang his axe.

"Whatever comes, you will never see it," the woman said as she hit the Titan straight in the face with her weapon, aiming for his eyes."

Thanos screamed.

Thor chopped off his other arm.

Flailing blindly, he fell to his knees.

"You may do the honor, brother," Thor said.

"How generous," Loki quipped, stepping up to sink a magic dagger into Thanos' throat.   
"I told you, you would never be a god."


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions can be hard...

"Brother... You're alive." Thor sounded like he didn't quite believe it.

"As are you," Loki said. "Seems we were both mistaken in assuming otherwise."

"I saw him... _heard_ him break your neck."

"You should know by now not to trust everything you see or hear."

"Tell him how much you hated the neck brace!" came Ara's voice from behind.

Loki didn't lose his casual tone.  
"Merely an inconvenience."

"He wouldn't stop bitching about it," Ara said as she walked up to them. "I found him floating in space in a hypothermic state and took him aboard my ship. I'm Ara."

"Thor Odinson. I believe I'm in your debt, Lady Ara."

"I see politeness runs in the family."

"As is befitting of the princes of Asgard."

Ara looked at Loki and mouthed:  
"Princes?"

Clearly, he had some explaining to do. There was no time, however, since Thor spoke again, this time in his direction.

"So you were at least wounded; it was no mere illusion this time."

"There never was, brother." The bitterness in his voice went over Thor's head.

"I shouldn't have doubted that you'd find a way to weasel yourself out of it. " Thor embraced him briefly, slapping a hand against his back. "Now, let us finish this battle together."

* * *

"And she helped you? And then brought you here without question?"

"I'm fairly certain that that woman would have been able to lift your hammer," Loki said.

"So what is she doing with you?"

"You know, brother, I've been asking myself the same thing," They were standing on a hill, watching Ara attend to the wounded in the aftermath of their victory. "It seems, she has a soft spot for those she takes into her care."

Isiz was circling the air nearby but suddenly changed direction and swept down to seat herself on Loki's shoulder. He stiffened but the creature wasn't aiming its hostility towards him anymore. It hissed at Thor.

Who took half a step back.

"What sort of creature is this?"

"Ara's pet. I really have no idea why it would act that way. Perhaps it doesn't like you."

Thor frowned at the animal that casually began nibbling on a strand of Loki's hair.  
"It seems on good enough terms with you."

"Of course. It spits venom; you may want to keep your distance."

"You have a talent for making unusual acquaintances, Loki."

"I prefer calling it a skill but yes."

Loki had no idea what had brought about Isiz's change in attitude towards him but he was not one to question it. Not being pestered by the creature at every turn was too much of a relief.

Not to mention, seeing her snap at Thor was more than a little amusing.

"Ara had her own score to settle," Loki explained. "Her homeworld was one left devastated by Thanos years ago."

"I hope her vengeance was satisfying."

Seeing Ara burn out the Titan's eyes had evoked emotions in him that he was reluctant to examine more closely. She had been magnificent at that moment; there had been no hesitance, no mercy. Her fury had been focused, controlled and unwavering.

Now she was treating injured strangers with the same care and compassion he knew her for.

Restoring life, unwilling to kill when not deeming it necessary, yet she had no qualms striking down an enemy deserving of such a fate.

He had misjudged her from the start, thought her little more than a naive child.

He had been a fool.

* * *

Loki was changing his clothes after cleaning up. He could still smell the blood on himself but knew it was merely his senses playing tricks on him, much like the phantom feeling of a giant hand closing around his throat. It would go away over time.

He was yet to be fully dressed when the door behind him opened and the heavy steps he knew came to a halt.

"Brother..." came Thor's voice, strangely subdued.

Loki froze.  
"What?"

"Your back..." Thor slowly came around to eye his chest. The scar there corresponded to the one on his back. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Loki hastily pulled his undershirt on.

"That it was real! You were not pretending to die on Svartalfheim."

"You didn't exactly ask." Loki clenched his jaw, feeling the resentment rising.

"I saw you impaled; those scars prove it." Thor was still staring at his chest, despite the ugly marks being covered.

"Because my word would not be proof enough," Loki snapped. "I'd have to literally strip down in order to convince you."

"Can you blame me?" Thor frowned. "You have done little to earn more than distrust on my part."

"I could say the same for you, brother." He turned away while summoning the rest of his clothes but Thor grabbed his shoulder and turned him back.

"When did I do anything to make you doubt my trust?"

The rage welled up inside him, making his magic pulse and flicker, ready to ignite.

"How about leaving me in agony, defenseless, on Sakaar? It was pure happenstance that those who came upon me first didn't slay me where I was. And you had the nerve to preach to me about change, as if you'd ever notice such a thing!"

Thor looked confused for a fraction of a moment. It was over so quickly, it could have been a figment of one's imagination. Then he tightened his grip and his face darkened.  
"It was more than deserved after what you did!"

"I did what needed to be done to keep you from running foolishly into your doom! I meant to delay you till you came to your senses." His voice turned cold. "But I shouldn't have bothered, should I? The mighty Thor always gets his way, no matter how reckless the pursuit."

"And you run like a coward, no matter the foe! We could have fought her before she even got to Asgard, had you not called the Bifrost and brought her there."

"Because my magic was hampered, if you had bothered to notice." Loki was hissing between his teeth, the insult burning like a cursed dagger in his heart. "There was no manner we could have defeated her, not knowing her strengths, without it. Odin locked her away with his very life force and you think she could be beaten with just your hammer?"

"What sort of meager excuse is that? Did you use it all up, playing at being king?" Thor's voice was mocking now.

"Did you ever stop to wonder how Thanos found us? Almost as if something led him straight down our path?"

"Because you kept the Tesseract, rather than letting it be destroyed with Asgard! You led him to us!"

"An infinity stone cannot be destroyed so easily; you should know as much." Loki was almost surprised at the calm coming over him. It felt like the eye of the storm. "It would be floating in space, ripe for the taking. And there is no manner in which he could have traced it, as I was keeping it within my magic confinement the entire time on the ship."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Believe what you wish. The reason he found us was that he had placed an implant inside me during my time in his service. It was meant to put constraints on my magic, limiting my use of it. I would never have known, had Ara not found it and removed it."

"Yet, you upheld your disguise well enough to fool all of Asgard."

Loki rolled his eyes.  
"Conjuring an illusion is the basest magic there is; it takes virtually no effort to maintain."

That wasn't completely accurate but he had no wish to elaborate on the toll it had taken on him over the years.

"Why would Thanos deprive you of your magic if you were in his service?" Thor insisted.

"I would assume he thought me too dangerous with a full set of skills at my disposal. He saw me fight, you know. I had to face a number of his minions to prove my worth."

"I take it, you won?"

"Else I wouldn't be here."

The memories of The Pit were ones he'd never willfully revisit, yet they haunted him in the depth of night. The heated air, the nauseating smells of sweat and blood and pierced guts. The Titan's perverse grin when watching a fighter ripped apart.

What Thor might never understand was that the visible scars were mere flaws to the eye. The other, deeper ones, had changed him at the core. He would never again be the same.


	13. Serious conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small hope and a disturbing observation.

He had asked around for Ara's temporary living quarters and found them quickly enough. Unfortunately, she wasn't there.

Seating himself outside her door, Loki told himself that he needed to make sure she was alright. It was his responsibility after bringing her into the battle, however willing she had been to come. The least he could do was to check on her.

His thoughts were chasing each other, focused on the recent conversation with Thor, and evoking a simmering rage.

Nothing had changed.

The sacrifices he'd made meant nothing.

His fists clenched and unclenched as every hurtful word ran on repeat in his head.

"Oh, there you are." Ara hastened her steps to greet him. "I've been talking to the king's sister for hours. I hope you haven't been waiting that long."

Something about her voice, her smile, drove the rage right out of him.

"Not at all," he said, straightening up. "In fact, I just got here."

She tilted her head, looking at him.  
"No, you didn't but that's alright." She turned to open the door. "They have some technology here that's way ahead of the rest of the planet and the king's sister Shuri is in charge of their research department. We had a really interesting conversation."

Loki followed into the kitchen and watched her preparing tea. Of course, Ara was making friends already; how could she not?

"You look unhappy," she said as she handed him a cup. "Would you mind telling me what's on your mind?"

It was not in his nature to spill his worries in front of others but something in him longed for it just the same. It had been a long time since anyone had bothered to truly listen.

As they took their seats in another room, he inhaled the fragrance of the Wakandan tea. Eating and drinking with Ara had become a soothing ritual of sorts, something associated with healing and comfort.

Isiz was sitting on a bookshelf grooming herself, no longer aggressive in Loki's presence.

He would miss it, he realized. There would be an aching hole in his chest when Ara left, as she would eventually do, and he would be back in Thor's shadow, forever dismissed and taken for granted.

"I am weary," he said, unable to continue further.

"There's been a lot happening," Ara said, "and you didn't expect to still be here, did you?"

"I guess not."

He had expected to die, it was true. It was not surprising to him that Ara knew. Taking on Thanos was bound to have a fatal outcome; he had just set his mind on taking the Titan with him.

Now... it was all over and he was still alive and barely harmed. What for any sane person would have been a relief left him feeling empty and... yes, weary.

A weariness that sleep wouldn't cure.

"How long will you remain?" he asked. "I assume you wish to return to your noble pursuit."

"I'm hoping we can arrange an exchange of technology first. Shuri seemed interested in some of the knowledge I brought from my homeworld and she showed me things that I could incorporate with my own equipment. I don't know how long it will take but once we're done, yes, I'm leaving."

Loki nodded. Asking her to stay would be foolish. A pointless display of weakness.

"You could come with me," Ara suggested.

Loki frowned, processing her words.  
"And why would you have me?"

"We work well together, don't you think?" She wobbled the cup in her hand, watching its content move. "It's not just about rescuing people; you get to see other worlds, new places..." She met his gaze. "I don't get the feeling you would be satisfied staying here for long."

"I suppose not."

It was a thought he hadn't dared entertain, that they could go away together. That she would want him there. That he could...

"There's just one thing."

Of course there was. What did he expect?

"Which is?"

"How close do you want us to be?"

He hesitated, taken aback by the directness of the question.  
"I..."

There was a knock at the door.

Ara went to answer and he heard her voice mixed with another, familiar one.

_Banner?_

"I need to talk to Loki."

"I don't think he's up for company right now." Ara's tone was kind, apologetic, but quite firm.

"Yeah, I... It won't take long, so maybe...?"

Loki rolled his eyes. He had little animosity for Banner per se but the man's awkwardness irked him.

"What is it this time?" he said, entering the outer room without making an effort to hide his impatience. Ara stepped aside to let the visitor in.

"There is something wrong with Thor," Banner blurted out. "I don't know what, but he's been different since... I don't know, since we met on Sakaar?"

"What nonsense is this? If it's Thor's attempt to... "

He stilled. Of course, Thor had acted differently. They all had, due to the circumstances that had stranded them on Sakaar and life hadn't exactly been normal since. Absorbed in his own concerns, he had thought little of it.

"Something's off," Banner insisted. "Come on, you're his brother; you must have seen it!"

Ara quietly poured another cup of tea and showed the way to where she and Loki had been sitting.

Thor had always been battle-hungry and short-tempered but never downright cruel. Perhaps their mother's death had changed him, or perhaps...

"Tell me what you have observed," he urged as they sat down.

"I was talking to the others but apparently Thor's been gone most of the last two years, so they've barely seen him."

"Travelling the realms, yes."

"It's still Thor but at the same time, it's not, if you know what I mean. He used to care about people around him but now he's... cold, somehow? Indifferent."

Loki exchanged glances with Ara. She didn't know Thor; she wouldn't have any observations to add, but she was perceptive enough that her input could prove useful.

"You're saying this change happened after you last saw him on Earth?" In the back of his mind, he was going over Thor's actions ever since their reunion on Asgard.

"He was fine before I left. I'm thinking he's sustained a head injury at some point without knowing it. A change like that just doesn't come on naturally."

"Thor has a thick skull," Loki said, "but I suppose it isn't impossible."

"It's a common cause of behavioral changes," Ara commented. If he agrees to it, it should be easy to check."

"I tried to talk to him," Bruce said," but he laughed it off."

"And you think I will succeed where you failed," Loki said. "I think you'd have better luck asking his mortal friends to approach him with this matter."

"You don't think he'd listen if it came from you?"

"I sincerely doubt it." He had to admit, Banner was right. Something was wrong and the more he considered it, the clearer it became. He should have seen it earlier.

"We could talk to him together," Ara said. "He may take it seriously if he sees that more people are concerned."

"Perhaps." Loki was going over the possibilities in his mind. Thor's travels would have taken him to all sorts of shady places, creatures, cursed objects. There was no manner of knowing what might have happened without investigating further. And if there was something more sinister at play than a mere head injury, he didn't want Ara near it.


End file.
